Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law ...

Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?A. A lobotomy.Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?A. Sue.Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?A. They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.Q. What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?A. Lipstick.Q. What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?A. Skeet.Q. It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ...A. It was SO cold ... that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?A. In the city morgue.Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

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